Puberty, Burdens, and GUILT
From Foreskin’s Lament, by Shalom Auslander:
“When I was young, they told me that when I died and went to Heaven, the angels would take me into a vast museum full of paintings I had never before seen, paintings that would have been created by all the artistic sperms I had wasted in my life. Then the angels would take me into a huge library full of books I had never read, books that would have been written by all the prolific sperm I had wasted in my life. Then the angels would take me to a huge house of worship, filled with thousands of Jews, praying and studying, Jews that would have been born if I hadn’t killed them, mopped them up with a dirty sock during the hideous failure of my despicable life (there are roughly 50 million sperms in every ejaculate; that’s about nine holocausts in every wank. I was just hitting puberty when they told me this, or puberty was just hitting me, and I was committing genocide, on average, three to four times a day).”
